Growing up I was always terrified of being a mom but at the same time I wanted to be one. I was scared to see what kind of mom I would be or if I would screw up at the whole MOM role especially now a days in the judgmental world we live in. Don't spank your kids, do give them so many chores, be all organic, why are you using that lotion, breastfeeding is disgusting, you have to breast feed cause it's the only thing that's good for your kid... all these rules that people place and judge you for. Yet here I am, a mom, truly blessed by God with two little girls and super grateful that He gave me the strength to handle these crazy little divas.
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Two girls! Most people ask if I have bought a shotgun to keep the boys out or if I am ready for those teenage dating years. Let's just say that they are 5 and 3 and I don't want to even think about those years just yet. It puts me in panic mode. Let's go back to when I first saw my daughter Bella and my whole life changed. When I first found out I was pregnant I cried. Yes! I balled my eyes out like a little baby and didn't know what to do. I thought my whole life was going to be over. I was so mistaken. I never knew that moment how much my life would change and have so much meaning to it.
A few weeks after finding out I was pregnant with Bella I had the opportunity to hear her heartbeat and see an ultrasound. I called her my little blob. Literally. I never understood why people say, "She's so cute! or How adorable." on ultrasound pictures. All you see is a blob for the first few weeks and that was exactly what I was going to call her till I knew if she was a he or a she. Even the 3D ultrasounds look horrible but so cool to look at. Just me though and I still did both regular and 3D ultrasounds for the heck of it. Mainly to get another quick glimpse of the little human blob that was growing inside me causing me to puke 24/7 that I loved so much.
I few weeks later I started spotting blood a little and had horrible pains. Went in to get checked and was told I might of miscarried. I didn't believe them as it was just spotting and for some reason I can feel life still inside me. This is when I realized I was connected somehow to my little girl. Some how I knew if she was in trouble or not. I knew that day that she was just fine and that there was nothing to worry about. It was exactly that. A horrible false alarm. Don't get me wrong. I still worried and kept second guessing myself but it felt like she was talking through my brain somehow saying, "Mommy, I am ok."
Pregnancy continued and the day to finally hold my little girl was here. Well so I thought. I finally got admitted into L&D after days of in and out of that place due to leaking baby fluids and constant contractions 3 minutes apart that were supposedly just Braxton Hicks. I spent the night pushing and pushing and bleeding more and more till it was time to go do an emergency surgery. I knew something was wrong. Since weeks before I had a feeling that something was going to happen during labor. I even told my husband that I had a feeling that I was going to have an emergency surgery but he always told me that it was just me freaking out or overthinking things. My heart sunk that very minute when the doctor told me about the surgery. They explained what was going on and immediately prepped me for surgery. Worse and most painful surgery of my life but somehow that moment when I heard her first cry and saw her across the room (which felt like the room was football fields long) I had this sense of pride, love, emotions, everything that I never had felt before. It was a feeling that I can't even explain till this day. I knew this very moment that I was a MOM and my whole life was going to change for the better. I was a MOM!!!! March 21, 2012 I became a MOM to a beautiful little baby girl.
Now it's 2017 and I have two beautiful little girls but they are soooooo different in their own little special ways. One is such a diva always wanting to dress up. Every morning she gets herself dressed for school and wants a specific outfit or color for that day. Oh and it HAS to match. I'm good with it matching so no issues there but she literally stresses so much about it that it's funny and cute. She's my preppier of the two but she can go from preppy to getting dirty out in the woods in a matter of seconds. Then there is my little one Isa who is more of a destroyer of things yet has to be clean. If she has even a small little dirt spot on her shirt from playing outside she will rush inside to change. Her clothes, hands, feet, shoes, nothing can be dirty though she loves to be messy. She leaves all her crayons, books, toys, everything everywhere and to get her to pick them up can be like fighting with a concrete wall to move. Yes she's the more stubborn of the two but she's so sweet always giving kisses and hugs. In other words she knows her way into everyone's hearts and how to get out of trouble. I mean how can you not melt when you see their glowing little angel eyes right?
When I was pregnant with Isa I thought they were both going to be very similar. Boy was I wrong. Every thing down to the smallest detail is different but the best part of being a mom to these two crazy little girls is watching them be sisters. They can go from cuddles, hugs, and kisses to fighting over a toy or about how to color the Power Puff Girls. One has a huge imagination and creativity while the other one has to be creative in a specific way as to what the correct colors are for the cartoons and even makes me Google them for her so she can color them correctly. It's these little details that make me crazy in love with my two little girls. They may drive me insane most days but men do they have me wrapped around their little fingers. It's also so cute to see how Isa now tries to imitate her big sister. She's always doing everything she does and tries to learn things so she can be at the same level as Bella. This actually works great for me as she learned her ABC's and how to count with her sister and started carrying a whole long conversation at a very young age of about 1 years old.
Being mom has truly been a blessing. It does has it's up and downs. There's days where I just need a break from them cause they are just all over the place and then there's days where I am like... I need my little girls to cuddle with me tonight. Being a mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
How has being a mom changed your life? I know it has changed my life for the better. I can't even imagine how I lived life without them. It was peaceful and less of a mess but I think I prefer the messes and craziness over a life without them in it.
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Eco-Friendly travels around the US and the world with our family with hopes to inspire others to unplug and adventure the world.
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I'm a crafty explorer who loves the ocean, the great outdoors, animals, planet earth, and creating wearable art out of beach treasures. I love the beach, traveling, and exploring new places around me with my mermaid family. I hope you like my blog.